Kingdom

Take me

Relinquish morals,

unattainable ideals,

unfulfilled expectations

and the futility of promises.

and surrender

to lust

to sin

to the decadence

of forbidden flesh.

Bow

to scandalous opportunities.

Embrace

your primitive nature.

Lower

yourself onto transgression.

Feed

the vanity of your carnal urge.

Indulge

in those earthly delights

your god created you to enjoy

in his organic kingdom.

Set me free:

Show me the urgency

of tonight’s reunion

and the sanctity of this occasion.

Worship this body

as it becomes one

with yours.

Spring

Spring time is around the corner.
New life begins from nothing.
Longer days bring more warmth
from the sun and the promises
of a new tomorrow.
But traces of winter still poke through:
the bitter cold hasn’t left just yet.
Winter’s darkness still holds on
by sprinkling the last of its snow,
freezing the budding flowers trying
to emerge from the hardened ground.

Our darkness still lingers
and we’re both worn from this
bitter cold season of mistakes,
arguments and regrets.
Tired of fighting this biting cold,
struggling to say warm.

And then the sun shines through
and we remember why
we’ve been here all along.
Once the snow has melted
we can see how we’ve forgotten
the beauty of our love’s devotion.

As the seasons change the weather
from bitter cold to glowing warmth
we’re reminded darkness doesn’t last forever.
Traces of winter try to poke through
but the warmth of our love is too strong.

Prayer to the Universe

For all my spiritual gifts of wisdom and intellect, I give thanks
For my limitless imagination and creativity, I give thanks
For my ability to love and empathize with others, I give thanks
For my ability to fall in love and devout myself, I give thanks
For the generous opportunity to prove myself, I give thanks
For the warmth and love from my family, I give thanks
For my ability to see and marvel in all the world’s beauty, I give thanks
For my unique experiences that have shaped my existence, I give thanks
For the strength to overcome my mental darkness, I give thanks
For the gift of inner and outer beauty, I give thanks
For the safety and protection of my loved ones, I give thanks
For the admiration and affection from my friends, I give thanks
For my innate compassion for humanity’s welfare, I give thanks
For my physical wellbeing and enduring health, I give thanks
For all the new opportunities given to me this year, I give thanks
For beginning a journey to find divinity within myself, I give thanks

Om Namah Shivaya

The Passion (In four parts)

I – Surprise

There’s a familiar nervousness sweeping between

our parallel bodies so close in whirlwinds of

exhilaration beneath new truths and self evident

revelations dripping from my thirsty lips hungering

for the oasis of yours to submerge and sink deeper

into this moment and drown in your arms.

II – Unnatural

Seduce me.

Your habits I despise:

The life you lead and

popularity of wasted youth

disgusts me.

But your eyes undress me

and the thought

of your tongue on my body

warms me.

Unexpected attraction

of worthy adversaries

breaks down years of dogma

to allow carnal desires

to erupt and flow.

And I swoon in the fever of our deviance.

I lure you closer as hell freezes over

and our fury melts icy judgments

while our two bodies

become one contradiction.

We both want this

forbidden

unnatural

union.

III – Disappointment

A carcass festers tonight

beneath a full moon.

The biggest one in centuries.

Lifeless limbs lay still

blue eyes rolled back

a once beautiful chest

ripped apart rib cage broken

no breathing but a heart

beating in frigid air.

Solitary senselessness

to have expectations

in a senseless world.

IV – Beauty

There’s a soft lullaby soothing

this discord. We lay entwined

becoming one while

the darkness protects us.

Tonight is ours to keep

and hold each other without fear.


You softly apologize and graze

my lips once again with whispers

of revelation.

I abandon my logic to your touch

as we both know the truth

of this moment when your body

finds symmetry with mine

to harmonize in this duet

of beauty.

The Beginning

He strips his tie from his neck and throws it on the bar

Next to his glass of whiskey next to my martini

His voice is soft and subtle like a night ocean tide

I can’t imagine him ever screaming at me.

He tells me stories I wish I could have lived

And I laugh nervously to think I can’t keep up.

As we sit in the candlelight in a corner of the room

He intrigues me to wonder what our bodies would

Look like through the candlelight on my bed.

Our eyes linger for too long for comfort

Because we each see something in the other’s

Though what is unspoken is often true

I long to tell him there’s something stirring

And this water we’re treading is deeper

Than we both imagined.

Main Street

Chilly frigid afternoon so welcoming like your welcomes
This town is smaller than I remembered
when my tiny legs walked to the corner bakery
for jelly doughnuts and bear claws.
We’d watch the Christmas parade on Main Street
From your second floor office window
the front door is still red as it was 20 years ago
the river still cascades beside the red mill
where we trick-or-treated and fed the ducks
during some October along time ago.
Long enough ago to have my face painted
when I was small enough to sit on your lap
and too young to appreciate any of it.
Main street seems shorter this Christmas
when once it was a never ending path
I was never brave enough to venture alone
until today some decades later
when the wind is swirling my long blond hair
around its indifferent frigid fingers
ushering everyone into the warmth
of nearby antique shops and cafes
while the street is silent in my reflection.
Would he recognize his first granddaughter
standing at the red front door 20 years later
still blond and blue eyed and smiling
looking up at his second floor office
from a Main street I’ll always return to
in your memory.


In loving memory of Richard J. Wisniewski

From Autumn to Winter

There is a certain calm to be found in the seasonal decay of the earth. The cool season of autumn where the world around us slowly begins to die as it celebrates its own death in a festive macabre ritual of orange and red leaves. I find peace in the fading beauty, as it reminds me that nothing stays beautiful. No, it’s not me being a downer, its reality. Autumn is a reminder of all that which is good must pass. The shorter days and crisp crunch of leaves beneath our shoes is just an omen for the dark cold winter months a head. At least Mother Nature gives us warning of the dark times. At least we can rely on the ritual of the earth changing colors, changing temperature. Nothing else in life will give us such a guarantee.

Where I once mourned the lost days of spring where I was reborn, the endless days of summer where my childhood flourished, I solemnly accept the autumn as the inevitable passage into the adult world with new responsibilities. I know by winter I will have endured enough this year to be a withered old woman, tired, dried up and senile. However, when the New Year comes around and the trees begin their budding and the birds come north again, there will be a new infant waking inside of me, opening her arms to a year of experiences and adventure.

I knew perhaps 2010 would be a different year. The gradual evolution of our souls in accordance with nature puts our existence in harmony.

I’ve made mistakes and fell in love. I hurt others and gained new scars (tattoos of experience I call them). I traveled to distant lands and met people I’ll never see again but who I’ll always remember. I graduated college, started a new job, started graduate school, watched new shows, read new books, ate new food, made friends and lost friends. Winter is here and the year is almost over. I won’t wait until next year to promise myself I’ll be stronger.

The only revelation that pulls me through my days of weariness, through the icy façade of winter, is the reminder that though others have continued to hurt me and take advantage of my love, I still have the ability to love. I hope one day I can harness that ability to bring change to a world of constant darkness and sadness.

There are many things I am grateful for each day of this passing year. Once again, everything I have experienced this year has participated in the evolution of my being, whether good or bad. I’ll know better next time or I won’t make the same mistake again. Though the days of fading sunlight may shrivel my energy and my soul will hibernate in the warmth of my studio, I’m still blossoming inside.